Comments on: Bleeding to get in http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/ Feminism isn't dead; it is immortal! Sat, 12 May 2012 01:02:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: femspotter http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-387 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:15:46 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-387 BLB, thanks for sharing.

This is terrible! Mean girls destroy lives.

Here’s an excerpt:

“Prince is thought to have committed suicide after allegedly enduring abuse online and in school from female classmates who were upset that Prince, 15, a sophomore who had recently moved to the U.S. from Ireland, was dating a senior football player.”

Why are girls this cruel? I am glad they were expelled and I hope it resonates with them and sets a precedent that this type of emotional bullying will not be tolerated.

]]> By: big little brother http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-386 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:06:54 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-386 http://www.thebostonchannel.com/education/22653526/detail.html?hpt=T2

Sad story, the town has mobilized in the wake of this tragedy and hopefully it will prevent it from happening again.

]]> By: femspotter http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-368 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 21:06:55 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-368 I can’t seem to find it. Can you provide a link?

]]> By: big little brother http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-364 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:58:27 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-364 I really don’t know…I think we just have to try to show them how to be happy with who they are as individuals and trust that they will find the group that accepts them for who they are but I really don’t know. Awareness and honesty to and with self and others, I think are the only ways to try and break the cycle. Its a hard question because on the one hand we want to protect our children and shelter them and on the other we have a recognition that they are going to have to get dirty, make mistakes, get bruised, and sometimes broken to get stronger. There is no easy answer.

]]> By: faemom http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-363 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:40:11 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-363 Did you read the article about the sorority that the dress code was leaked and how very petty and shallow it was?

]]> By: femspotter http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-362 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:14:36 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-362 Thanks! I agree about Mean Girls. Brilliant! And I have a very clear picture of its writer Tina Fey being on the receiving end of many a cruel joke in high school as I was. So what do we teach our daughters and how? Is there a way to avoid becoming an agressor? Is there a way to avoid becoming a victim?

]]> By: big little brother http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-361 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:01:19 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-361 Hey Sis!
Great posting! This type of aggressive behavior is a major problem. In psychological terms it is referred to as Relational Aggression vs. Physical Aggression. For many years in developmental studies it was believed that aggression was solely physical and that girls were not aggressive. What is known now is that while physical aggression does obvious phyiscal and emotional damage, relational aggression is often much more covert and in many ways much more devastating and a tactic more often employed by girls than by boys. Hazing behaviors are really the tip of iceberg and the most widely publicized. Some of the most dangerous relational aggression type behaviors are the rumor spreading, social manipulation, and trust betrayal activities…Mean Girls is one of the best pop culture examples I have ever seen. I wish that I could say that these behaviors are a manifestation of childhood and adolescence and that we grow out of them but we don’t, I mean some of us do. There was a case a year or two ago that comes to mind when a mother got online and pretended to be her daughter or son and harassed a 13 year old girl going as far as to suggest to her that she kill herself because no one liked her, that girl did kill herself.

For better or worse it has been my observation that the social environment and politics of high school are a training ground for the majority of the world at large. Those of us that survive it come away from it with an awareness and sensitivity to it that the perpetrators will never have. And here’s the kicker, see believe it or not I don’t think that most people pay close enough attention to the personal experiences of other people. I don’t think that most people stop to wonder what the impact of their actions will be…in the moment they don’t think they are wrong or that their behaviors are hurtful and after the fact, depending on an array of factors, personal and social, they may still not think that they have done wrong to another. Cognitive Dissonance, we will consciously and unconsciously go out of our way to validate our own beliefs, going so far as to invent or deny and repress facts.

Aggressive behaviors are linked to the very fabric of our nature as animals. Aggression as viewed from a developmental and evolutional perspective is a problem solving tool when survival is the name of the game (a very egocentric game). It is instinctual and very effective during times of scarcity, it ensures action on the part of the individual towards need fulfillment. Now our culture has evolved to the point where the vast majority of us don’t have to go far to obtain our basic needs and our technology has given (for right or wrong) almost complete mastery of our environment unfortunately it appears that our psychology has a long way to go to catch up. So we study it, and we try to educate each other, and we try to teach our children how to interpret it, understand it, cope with it and relish in being who they are. Until enough of the survivors pass on what they have learned aggressive behaviors will continue to be tolerated so long as it does not make the papers.

]]> By: The Thirteenth Carnival of Feminists « Zero at the Bone http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-360 Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:55:22 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-360 [...] warns us of the dangers of hazing in Bleeding to get in at her blog The Fem Spot. There’s a particular focus on the harm young women do to each [...]

]]> By: faemom http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-359 Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:34:26 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-359 I’ve thought long and hard about the things women do to each other. Is it natural/biological? Like the need to secure the best mate amongst the competition? Or is it social/cultural? Like we are taught we don’t have the chance to be the alpha so we fight amongst ourselves for the little power given us. Read some of the Bible. Many of the women are horrible to each other, look at Jacob and his wives Leah and Rachel. They were catty women. So does this mean women have always been this way? Or does it mean we have always been taught and preceived this way?

]]> By: femspotter http://thefemspot.com/2010/01/30/bleeding-to-get-in/#comment-358 Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:55:36 +0000 http://thefemspot.com/?p=1314#comment-358 Do you think it has something to do with women historically being underdogs and now as a consequence being territorial over what we perceive as single chances here or there to achieve alpha status? Do we beat up on each other because we fear losing power, which is available to women in limited quantities only?

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